Bulls Amongst Men

After nearly a decade in the military and two tours in Afghanistan, Michael returns to civilian life. However, nothing seems to be waiting for him there. His family members are divided by politics at best and refuse to see him at worst; getting back into school will leave him rudderless for a semester; and his attempts at getting back into dating end in disaster. His world is crashing down around him, and he feels unable to connect. That is until his friends make a suggestion at an officer's funeral: together, they should run with the bulls in Pamplona.

This bucket list item quickly becomes a formative, almost spiritual experience for Michael. As he navigates the dangerous excitement of the ten-day-long San Fermín festival, he starts to gain insight into his role as a veteran. Alongside this newfound self-awareness, though, remains a destructive impetus. After all, much like Pamplona's bulls, soldiers are lifelong fighters.

According to the acknowledgments in the back of BULLS AMONGST MEN, C.S. Quinn penned this narrative from personal experience. It's not hard to tell. The struggles of a veteran, including and especially with regards to PTSD, are difficult to discuss compassionately and accurately without a degree of first- or secondhand experience. It's ugly and unpleasant, and uninformed takes can be overly hero-worshiping at best and outright disrespectful at worst. Quinn threads this needle impressively, presenting an unflinching look at life among civilians: the paranoia, the detachment from partisan politics, the romantic and sexual difficulties, and especially how one can inadvertently frighten others while struggling internally. Readers are put in Michael's shoes for many of these situations, sometimes unsure of the truth (such as a short-term girlfriend claiming Michael has turned stalker on her).

The real meat of the book is in the final third or so, when Michael and his friends go to Pamplona. This is easily the best sequence of the entire novel. The rest is a slow build, never poorly written but much more meandering. The final third, from Michael's first run to his growing awareness of who he is as a person, is gripping. It's hopeful and tragic at the same time, as Michael grows to understand and connect with a part of himself he's lost while realizing that he is essentially forever changed.

BULLS AMONGST MEN is often harsh and unpleasant, but that is the nature of a veteran's life. The unapologetic directness of the book, combined with Quinn's unique reflections on the similarity between fighting bulls and veterans, makes this a truly insightful narrative.

C.S. Quinn's BULLS AMONGST MEN quickly evolves into a touching, challenging exploration of the struggles of military veterans.

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