The Upper Hand: Mastering Persuasion and Getting What You Want with the Science of Social Engineering

Learn to get what you want from others and build stronger relationships by replacing coercive tactics with this social science-backed playbook for winning trust.

Having leverage—in the form of intelligence, charm, beauty, money, status, or insider knowledge—often gives you an advantage in an interaction.

When it doesn’t, or when you don’t have any, people often turn to tricks and schemes that run the risk of damaging personal relationships.

In The Upper Hand human behavioral scientist and sought-after speaker, advisor, and coach Dr. Abbie Maroño shows you how to influence people and situations in your favor with skill and integrity—and without the need for leverage or coercion.

Based on principles of prosocial engineering, Dr. Abbie shows you how to build and maintain trust by gaining an understanding of the psychological mechanisms underpinning human decision making. She presents five key truths about the complexity of human behavior that you can count on one hand to give you the upper hand:

• we are our brains
• we are driven to survive (by any means necessary)
• we want to connect and cooperate
• we have a mind-body feedback loop
• we want to protect our self-identity

By grasping how these truths are at play—and learning to see how they show up differently based on cultural contexts, individual differences, and situational dynamics—you’ll be primed to tailor an informed approach to influencing outcomes when it matters most.

Personal connections are key to getting what we want—whether moving up in our careers, attracting customers, or maintaining romantic partnerships. The Upper Hand is your indispensable guide to building trust and cooperation on your way to getting what you want, whatever it may be.