Sex Beyond "Yes": Pleasure and Agency for Everyone

“Lucid and straightforward; in a better world, it would be taught in high schools.” —S. C. Cornell, The New Yorker

Every discussion of sexual ethics revolves around consent, but is this notion enough to help us understand good sex? How does the dominance of consent help or prevent us from negotiating the complexities of intimacy and pleasure?

Georgetown professor Quill R Kukla argues that the idea that consent is the gatekeeper between the realms of good and bad sex does not give us the tools we need to navigate pleasure and intimacy. They claim that traditional discussions of consent make no room for the reality that we can have good sex even though we may get drunk or high, or become forgetful with age, or be limited by social pressures and power relationships

Kukla explores the ambiguous realms in which sexual agency requires much more than the ability to just say “yes” or “no” to sex. They confront moments of discomfort: How does consent work for people with dementia, a condition that is also associated with increased libido? Or in sex work, where sexual contracts challenge our traditional conceptions of ethical sex? How can we express our agency when exploring new kinks, where our hesitations and ambivalence are part of the thrill? Or even in everyday sex—where partners inevitably differ in enthusiasm, power dynamics, and experience?

Combining rigorous research and universal lessons that apply both in and out of the bedroom, Kukla approaches the concepts of sexual agency, sexual pleasure, and consent with unapologetic verve. Challenging readers to think beyond reductive concepts of consent, gender, and freedom, Sex Beyond “Yes” reframes the communication and social support we need to establish sexual relationships founded on genuine respect, open discourse, and unhindered joy.