Desire: The Longings Inside Us and the New Science of How We Love, Heal, and Grow

Have you ever wondered why chasing love, success, or pleasure feels like an unending struggle? Or why the things you want are always out of reach?

Drawing on a new study of 4,000 people, renowned therapist and award-winning author Jay Stringer reveals how desire—the most powerful and misunderstood force in our lives—shapes everything: who we love, what we chase, and the life we create.

“A master class in caring for the human spirit.”—Will Guidara, New York Times bestselling author of Unreasonable Hospitality

Desire drives our search for intimacy, meaning, and joy, but it can also lead to shame, betrayal, and self-sabotage. Too often we are encouraged to silence it, distort it, or treat surface-level symptoms like loneliness, low desire, or porn use—without listening to what our longings are really telling us.

In Desire, Stringer shows how to decode those clues and transform your story. Drawing on unforgettable stories from his clinical practice—individuals and couples navigating everything from childhood scars to purity culture, professional exhaustion to sexual difficulties, codependency to self-doubt—he shows you how to ask the questions you’ve been avoiding and move toward the healing you didn’t know how to seek.

This book doesn’t offer quick fixes. Through deep compassion and research, it offers something far more powerful: the invitation to approach your desires with curiosity, so you can stop unhealthy patterns and begin building a life of connection, purpose, and love.