Sexual Intelligence: What We Really Want from Sex--and How to Get It

From a famed sex therapist and marriage counselor comes the key to a healthier, more exciting, more fulfilling sex life—A game-changing guide to liberating sex, pure desire, and unrivaled intimacy

“Instead of a manual of better tricks, this book is a practical plan to improve your relationship with your sexuality. Klein liberates and provokes--and illuminates the way to change your sexual experience for good.” — Esther Perel, author of Mating in Captivity

Enjoyable sex: It’s not about technique or a perfect body or being hopelessly, passionately in love. It’s about sexual intelligence.

In his three decades of working with couples and individuals of all orientations and backgrounds as a sex therapist and marriage counselor, Psychology Today contributor Dr. Marty Klein has continuously seen that although most people say what they want from sex is pleasure and closeness, that’s not what they focus on during sex. Instead, we’re preoccupied with how we look, what our partner is thinking, how we’re performing, and whether we’re “normal.” We do more thinking, worrying, and judging than experiencing. Sex like that can’t thrill us, can’t create intimacy, and can’t, well, feel sexy.

Weaving in personal, real-life experiences from his clients Klein shows how to:

• Stop observing ourselves during sex, ending our obsession with sexual performance and sexual normality.
• Gain the emotional skills and body awareness to get more out of sex, and gain a new perspective on then experience—wherever it takes you.
• Have fulfilling, exciting sex at every stage of our lives— with advice for every decade from our twenties to our sixties and beyond.

“I don’t help people ‘function’ better during sex,” he says. “I teach people how to relax and enjoy sex with the body they have, the partner they have, in the situation they have.” Sex changes over time, and so do we. From exploring the sexual world to establishing new rhythms to adapting to change and to saying goodbye to youthful sex: Klein shows us the force of creating a new sexual style for every stage of our journeys.

Sexual Intelligence sharply removes the stigma and challenges our understanding of sex, love, intimacy, romance, and satisfaction. After all, sex isn’t just an activity. Change the way you think about sex, and you can change your sex life—forever.