If Only I'd Known: How to Outsmart Narcissists, Set Guilt-Free Boundaries, and Create Unshakeable Self-Worth (Paperback)

If Only I'd Known: How to Outsmart Narcissists, Set Guilt-Free Boundaries, and Create Unshakeable Self-Worth By Chelsey Brooke Cole Cover Image

If Only I'd Known: How to Outsmart Narcissists, Set Guilt-Free Boundaries, and Create Unshakeable Self-Worth (Paperback)


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This therapist-written and recommended 3-part book will give you the insights and strategies to understand the inner workings of a narcissist, heal from narcissistic abuse, and experience sustainable post-traumatic growth.

In relationships, have you ever found yourself:

  • Feeling like something is "off," but not being able to explain why?
  • Leaving conversations feeling more confused than when you started them?
  • Mentally rehearsing the "best" way to bring something up so your partner won't get mad?
  • Constantly ruminating on how to "make sense" of what you feel and what's happening?
  • Trying every communication strategy, but nothing seems to work?
  • Feeling "not enough" no matter how hard you try?

Narcissistic abuse creates a tidal wave of confusion, hypervigilance, and overthinking. You have trouble thinking clearly, remembering things, or taking in new information. You feel frazzled, foggy, and flawed.

And because these changes are happening to you-you begin to wonder:

What's wrong with me?

Why can't I make this relationship work?

Am I fundamentally broken?

And that's exactly how narcissistic abuse works-it happens so subtly that you believe the insecurities you're experiencing are "you" instead of "what's happening" to you.

You think there's something wrong with you.

You think you need to change or get better.

You think they'll grow out of it.

You think no one else understands.

Narcissistic abuse is a multilayered attack on your sense of self-a dismantling of who you are and what you believe you're worth.

This book covers unique information related to narcissistic abuse, including:

  • How different narcissistic types love bomb
  • Cognitive, emotional, behavioral, and physiological warning signs that you're being abused
  • How and why narcissistic trauma bonds form and the process to untangle yourself from these binding relationships
  • How to set boundaries even if you're an empath or highly sensitive person
  • The most common reasons you stay stuck and how to get "unstuck"

If you've ever wondered:

How did I get into this relationship?

I didn't experience an intense love-bombing phase-are they still a narcissist?

I'm such a people pleaser-how can I set better boundaries?

What if healing isn't possible for me?

I feel so lost and broken-where do I even start?

This book is for you

Praise for If Only I'd Known

"Chelsey is able to describe exactly what I went through and what others have endured in a concise way. It is so important for mental health professionals to shine a light on this insidious form of domestic violence so that our clients, readers, and followers can get the validation and support that they so desperately need. She is an advocate for trauma survivors and her writing will help so many people to become empowered and heal." -Vanessa Reiser, LCSW, Narcissistic/Cult Abuse Expert

"If you've ever been touched by a toxic workplace, tyrannical boss, or undermining colleague, you need this book. With clinical expertise, relatable stories, and fresh insights, Chelsey helps us all recognize, recover, and resist narcissistic individuals at every level." -Dorie Clark, Wall Street Journal bestselling author of The Long Game and executive education faculty, Columbia Business School

Product Details ISBN: 9798988409700
Publisher: Portwell Press
Publication Date: August 15th, 2023
Pages: 284
Language: English