You, Me, We: Why We All Need a Friend at Work (and How to Show Up As One!) (Hardcover)
Every Batman needs a Robin: Move from me to we with the Ally Mindset
In today’s age of Zoom calls and hybrid workplaces, how can leaders foster relationships that allow everyone to succeed? A trio of best friends and leadership consultants at SkyeTeam have the surprising answer: workplace success starts by being a friend.
Meet the Ally Mindset, a model for proactive, thoughtful work relationships. As you heal adversarial relationships and strengthen weaker ties, you’ll find that when you have best friends at work—colleagues who have your back—you thrive. Using personal stories, science-backed insights, and valuable lessons from clients including Google, the National Geographic Society, and Microsoft, the authors explore the five key parts of the Ally Mindset and demonstrate how to apply them to your relationships.
You, Me, We provides ample evidence for how adopting the Ally Mindset increases happiness, incentivizes collaboration, and improves business outcomes. Because to have a best friend at work, you need to be a best friend at work.
Morag Barrett, CEO of SkyeTeam, is an accomplished keynote speaker, leadership development expert, and Dr. Marshall Goldsmith Top 100 Coach who has supported more than 15,000 leaders from 20 countries and on six continents. She held leadership positions in the finance and telecommunications industries before founding boutique leadership development firm SkyeTeam in 2007. The bestselling author of Cultivate: The Power of Winning Relationships and The Future-Proof Workplace, Morag is a contributor to Entrepreneur.com, CIO.com, and the American Management Association. She has been featured in Inc.com, Business Insider, HR.com and others. Morag is a recognized business coach for the Corporate Coach University and Chartered Fellow of the Chartered Institute of Personnel and Development in the UK. She lives in Broomfield, Colorado.
Eric Spencer, COO for SkyeTeam, has more than 20 years of experience building and shaping human resources organizations, and delivering HR and leadership development programs for organizations ranging from startups to Fortune 100 companies. Prior to joining SkyeTeam, Eric served in leadership capacities at P3 Group, Local Matters, Level 3 Communications, and Target Corporation. He holds a Bachelor’s degree in Management from Arizona State University and an MBA with a focus in Organizational Behavior from Virginia Tech. He lives in Arvada, Colorado.
Ruby Vesely, CSO for SkyeTeam, is a sought-out executive coach, and savvy leadership development expert with over 20 years of experience in a variety of industries and organizations. She has an MS in organizational leadership from Regis University and is a certified executive coach. Ruby has served various nonprofits, currently working with her local homeless outreach organization (H.O.P.E.), serving as street outreach team member, board member, and fundraising team leader. She lives in Longmont, Colorado.
“We all want happiness, collaboration, and business success—and the bedrock that makes this possible at work is having deep, high-quality professional relationships. You, Me, We provides a powerful framework for making intentional decisions about how we connect. Follow this recipe and your work-life (and the work-lives of those around you) will change in a big way!”
Dorie Clark, Wall Street Journal–bestselling author, The Long Game; executive education professor, Duke University’s Fuqua School of Business
“In a world of social isolation, emotional malaise, and political toxicity, this book offers hope. The Ally Mindset (moving from me to we) is not only a set of good ideas, but also specific actions that foster relationships. The simplest test of an effective leader is how often people leave an interaction with them feeling better about themselves. This great book will help make that happen.”
Dave Ulrich, Rensis Likert professor, University of Michigan’s Ross School of Business; partner, The RBL Group
“Relationships with our colleagues are a key source of engagement and satisfaction, and building strong ones has never been more important, or more challenging. That’s why I strongly recommend You, Me, We. It lays out the practices for building an Ally Mindset, which can make every day you spend at work more rewarding.”
Sally Helgesen, author, How Women Rise, The Web of Inclusion, and The Female Advantage
“One of the best things a leader can do for their people, especially during turbulent times, is to make sure they have a best friend at work. You, Me, We is the guide to make it happen.”
Mark Goulston, MD, author, Just Listen; member, Marshall Goldsmith 100 Coaches
“We know that one of the characteristics of an engaged employee is one who is excited about opportunities to learn and grow at work—and feels as if they belong. Learning and growing happens more effectively in organizations with inclusive cultures. You, Me, We provides the road map we all need to look up, show up, and step up and build the ally relationships, the friendships, that ensure success for the long term—for employees, and for the business.”
Pamay Bassey, chief learning and diversity officer, Kraft Heinz; author, Let’s Learn Our Way Through It, Shall We?
“This insightful and practical book will help you navigate the world of work whether you are working in-office, remotely, or in hybrid mode. By creating an Ally Mindset, and by establishing close work friendships, you can favorably impact your well-being, and contribute to both your own personal effectiveness as well as the success of your organization.”
Peter Warwick, president and CEO, Scholastic Inc.
“You, Me, We is about building important connections at work—and that’s something we all need more of in these disconnected times. This page-turner is a playbook for how to create a mindset that will gain you allies who will not only help you get more done, but also feel better about the time you spend on the job. Let’s face it, we all have negative relationships in our lives, some that may suck the very life out of us at times. The authors help you spot the bad and cultivate more of the good. And that’s a skill that’s worth building!”
Adrian Gostick and Chester Elton, New York Times–bestselling authors, All In and Leading with Gratitude
“You, Me, We is a must-read for anyone looking to amplify their leadership presence and impact. At the end of the day, leadership is all about creating meaningful relationships—friendships at work—and this book reveals the five practices that result in an engaged workforce and superior results for all.”
Garry Ridge, The Culture Coach
“It is so easy to show up as a critic in our relationships. Of course, being an ally is far more effective. What makes You, Me, We such a great book is that Morag Barrett, Eric Spencer, and Ruby Vesely don’t just acknowledge the importance of being an ally, they actually help us do it. Read this book. Put their advice into practice. Your relationships will be better for it!”
Peter Bregman, CEO, Bregman Partners; author, 18 Minutes and Leading with Emotional Courage
“How we feel about work is wrapped up in the strength of our relationships. Learning and practicing the ally behaviors outlined in You, Me, We is central to creating strong, trusting, lasting relationships at work.”
Caralyn Cooley, chief people officer, Bowery Farming
“As Gallup has clearly demonstrated, having a best friend at work is integral for employees to be truly engaged with their team members to best benefit the business. But no one knew exactly how to make that happen and the factor was broadly thought to be ‘inactionable.’ Finally, we have the answer. You, Me, We shows exactly how you can promote an Ally Mindset throughout your organization and to reap the benefits of doing so. This invaluable guide on this essential topic is needed now more than ever.”
Bob Nelson, PhD, world’s leading authority on employee recognition and engagement; 5-million-copy–bestselling author
“This book is so very insightful and truly underlines the importance of having great friendships at work. In a world where employees are leaving their workplaces at a record pace, You, Me, We provides the perfect recipe to keep employees tied to organizations longer. If you are looking for ways to connect your team, reenergize them, and make them want to stay, this book is one of the best investments you can make.”
Heather R. Younger, bestselling author, The Art of Caring Leadership
“My personal motto is, ‘Work with your friends; become friends with people you work with.’ You, Me, We shows you why those connections are essential.”
Ayse Birsel, award-winning industrial designer; author, Design the Life You Love
“We have learned how critically important the value of connection is in our lives now more than ever. You, Me, We, provides a clear and empowering clarion call for how we all can show up to work not just as a friend, but as an ally.”
Alisa Cohn, author, From Start-Up to Grown-Up; executive coach
“Having and being a friend at work are the essential ingredients for creating a highly engaged and productive team. You, Me, We is the recipe for success that not only shows you why meaningful relationships matter, but also how to cultivate an Ally Mindset to ensure mutual success. This book should be required reading for all leaders.”
Robbie Samuels, author, speaker, business growth strategy coach
“Business performance and employee engagement converge when we’re in the presence of allies. By adopting an Ally Mindset, the nucleus of You, Me, We, leaders will learn how to show up unconditionally for everyone while inspiring their teams to invest in the power of critical workplace friendships.”
Shannon Sisler, EVP and chief people officer, Crocs
“I love You, Me, We. It contains the three things I appreciate most: interesting stories, strong research underpinnings, and practical, applicable advice that drives success—all told in an easy-going but direct fashion. Buy extra copies. You’ll want to give them to people before you’ve even finished reading it yourself!”
Cynthia Burnham, Master Corporate Executive Coach; leadership consultant
“Since the pandemic, organizations and leaders have learned they need to work differently to keep their talent. You, Me, We is the formula for creating the modern workplace people want to flock to by cultivating a culture of openness, candor, gratitude, and allyship. Buckle your seat belt for skyrocketing success!”
Howard Prager, author, Make Someone’s Day
“If you work in an organization then You, Me, We will make your work and personal life better. There are great tips for working with friends, and you’ll learn how to be a leader who encourages colleagueship—armed with productive tactics that work for when disagreement occurs. Having been a senior executive in many companies, I can say some of my greatest joys have been leading a team that works well together, collaborating with peers, and enjoying the creativity of sharing ideas—all in the service of doing great work.”
Evelyn Rodstein, former chief talent officer; executive coach
“I have coached executives in far too many organizations where the negative relationships have outnumbered the positive ones, and these negative relationships have caused great harm—interpersonally, financially, and in many other ways. Ultimately, this book is all about moving from me to we and how to take the first step to turn our colleagues into trusted friends and allies.”
Dr. Marshall Goldsmith, Thinkers50 number one executive coach and New York Times– bestselling author of Triggers, Mojo, and What Got You Here Won’t Get You There